Have you ever noticed that a woman rarely asks for those things that she needs? She may say, â€œIâ€™m thirsty.â€ But much like the character in â€œWhite Men Canâ€™t Jumpâ€, you can bet that she doesnâ€™t want you to bring her a glass of water . . . unless she does.
Iâ€™m lucky that my wife of 23 years is so straightforward. If she wants a glass of water, sheâ€™ll say, â€œNext time you get up, would you bring me a glass of water?â€ (of course what she really means is â€œIâ€™m thirsty and if you wish to sleep in safety tonight , youâ€™d best get up and fetch me a glass of ice water with a lemon wedge and 2 freshly plucked mint leaves and sooner rather than later.â€)
So when my darling better half mentioned that the floor in the kitchen was cold in the morning, I knew immediately that for the sake of my continued health, I would need to seek a remedy. I thought about buying long kitchen mats or some type of anti fatigue kitchen mats that would keep her feet from touching the cold floor and be comfortable. Nope, we already had one and it didn’t warm her feet enough when she stepped off the mat onto the floor.Â I bought her extra thick socks. Nope, they made her feet sweat when not in the kitchen. I raised the temperature on the thermostat. Nope, she needs it to be frigid at night so she can put her ice cold feet in the middle of my back (something about my garbled muttering under my breath must lull her to sleep).
I was about to buy a cat and glue it to her slippers when it hit me.Â There has GOT to be something on the internet to solve this. Brushing aside the heated subfloor section I noticed heated floor mats complete with adjustable Hi-Lo â€“ Off switch. It comes in two sizes and is perfect for that ever so cold kitchen or bathroom floor.Â I decided to get a heated footrest in our home office too.Â The lord and protector of the manor triumphs again.
Now I just have to decipher her apocryphal musings about what a dreamboat Hugh Jackman is. (Wonder if I should strap on Ginsu knives and leap around in tights.)