Have I taken my own advice? Nope. I’ve been in school for 5 weeks now, and still no sign of a drainage mat or even in areas where drainage is not needed rubber non slip mats. It’s definitely time to get my own little inexpensive 2’x3’ anti fatigue floor mat so I can stand on it. I have more aches and pains in my hips and back than I’m used to. It’s unbearable!  You know the saying that says “Those who can’t teach”? Well that’s me; with all the information (and access to products) I have, you’d think I’d have optimized my life. I live in a delusional world where bad things don’t happen to me. I like to believe that while muscle stiffness and body aches are something everybody feels, I’m immune. Or if something does happen I pretend it won’t last long; probably hurting myself more. I don’t know why I feel this way, because obviously my lack of a proper anti fatigue flooring is really taking a toll.  Don’t be like me- if you’re on your feet a lot, I really suggest getting proper flooring. It’s one of those things that I personally look at as added, unnecessary, comfort which isn’t worth $13.99. It’s definitely not a luxury. As a necessity, $13.99 is really nothing compared to somewhere between $10,000 and $125,000 for hip replacement surgery.

With this said I decided to attempt and calm this part of myself in some fashion.  My first attempt was what is commonly known as an isolation tank.  It is a large metal box essentially.  It is filled with about 12” of water that is saturated with 800 lbs of salt to make it incredibly buoyant.  You simply lay in this water and float, and then the fun part.  You close the door to this box and it is completely black. There is no sound, no visuals or stimuli of any kind.  In fact after a few minutes you begin to feel as if you are actually floating and completely weight-less.  Although this is not for everyone, it is quite an experience and I highly recommend it.

However although very fun and interesting, this isolation tank is not exactly the “calming” experience that I really need, nor is it something that is practical to do on a consistent basis.  So I began to dabble into the good ‘ol meditation.  Now, I am in shape and that shape…is round.  So needless to say, I need some comfort to brace between the floor and I.  I tried many things, from a yoga mat, to a bamboo meditation bench and then finally the meditation cushion.

These Zafu and Zabuton meditation cushions were certainly my favorite thus far and are eco-friendly. They made it much easier to “let go” per say, rather than thinking about how hard the ground was.  So although I am a grave novice at this point, I shall see where this little rabbit holes leads and report on my findings down the road.

“I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.”

I have several other rules regarding first impressions and young men seeking to date my daughters, most advice concludes with warnings of shovels and large empty plots of land.

But I digress.

First impressions are powerful. If I come to your place of business and the first thing I see is a raggedy, faded, undersized, entrance mats or indoor carpet mats it immediately starts you out at a distinct disadvantage and as you may have surmised, I am not as forgiving as I could be.

Nice, crisp, colorful, logo mats from MatsMatsMats.com can go a long way in developing a fantastic first impression. It shows that you care what we, the consumer, think when we enter your premises for the first or fiftieth time. It shows you want to create a first impression and that you care about the interior of your establishment as well.

Conversely, having rotting, nasty, dirty, slovenly commercial entry mats makes me want a shovel and an empty plot of land. Figuratively speaking, of course.

I remember growing up in a theatrical family, where we were always putting on homemade plays, skits and sketches. The highlight of the show was always me with my headband pretending to work out on my exercise mat and my older sister Tap Dancing with bottle-cap taps, on a cement floor in our garage.

Tap dancing has always been my favorite form of dance; making noise while you slap your feet on the ground, learning a time step, how to shuffle off to Buffalo. I learned to tap when a local high school needed a little kid to tap for a production of Gypsy. Here was something I could do with my kids.

Getting the tap shoes was an expensive but easy process but getting the right surface on which to tap proved a bit more difficult. It had to be portable, with a hard striking surface yet have some give and traction. After experimenting I came up with two, 6’x8’ plywood floors, covered with a Matlay Dance Floor “skin” from MatsMatsMats.com that I secure with vinyl tape which I also got at MatsMatsMats.com.  Now I have portable, professional looking vinyl dance floor that I can lay down anywhere and give the kidlettes basic tap lessons. My son has had me in for a father/son talent show that had us time stepping in tandem on the flooring. I even had a couple moms ask me where I bought the Marley floor.

All of my kids can now tap better than I, having received lessons at a local dance studio but we all get together and they teach me what they have learned. My wife asked if I could expand the flooring enough to learn ballroom dancing. . .yikes!

Now being as though I was a born again pet owner, and that the last time I was I would not exactly call myself aware of the world or responsibilities. So to my surprise, there are quite a few little and not so little things that one must procure and have done to these little buggers upon purchase. It’s like hidden fees when you buy a car. But I couldn’t say no, so take my money I said. There are just so many different types of pet products.  Get that little fur-ball his shots and throw in those adorable pet beds that inevitably they won’t use because the anti fatigue kitchen mats or papers that I actually need on the kitchen table will be undoubtedly more enticing.  But tack it on, because we need that cat bed.

Then of course you need something for the little guy to eat from. As we all know cats are very finicky and picky when it comes to things like that, and no cat of mine shall be denied. So let’s pick up on that little water and food bowl set shall we. But wait…we don’t want to have kitty food all over the place so definitely going to need a pet placemat to keep it all neat and tidy.

So armed with vaccinations, enough pet furniture to fill the back of my truck and an adorable little fluff of kitten; I finally own an animal after all these years.

No a days the Mixed Martial Arts scene is a bit different. However the main idea stays the same. The combination of various fighting disciplines coming together to allow the fighter to move more quickly, and react more appropriately to the situation and opposition with less flair and useless moves to deal with (i.e. “Return Positions).

With MMA, people inevitably started to fight each other in public forums and thus started to make groups. The most popular of which is the UFC. So now you have thousands of aspiring fighters either learning MMA for self-defense, fitness or for a chance to be in the UFC and fight for the prize in a sense.  This all requires training, and lots of it. Training requires classes, and classes require a good space to teach their students in a safe environment. So that is why we very commonly use, recommend and sell our interlocking martial arts mats and our most popular seamless flooring to MMA and Martial Arts Gyms.

Continuous Vinyl and crosslink foam flooring provides a fantastic area for the students to move and learn without fear of injury from falling, pulls, drops, or throws. We recently provided some seamless flooring to an up-and-coming MMA gym in North Carolina called Female Fighters MMA. In a sport currently dominated by male athletes they are setting the curve in providing a top notch environment and facilities for their students to learn and advance. They use our seamless flooring for their gym for just these reasons. You can see here for yourself, it not only looks great, but performs well!

Seamless Martial Arts Floor and MMA are very synonymous with each other, and if you are in the sport you certainly will see them everywhere you go.

47 broken belt loops later, my wife demanded I lose the carabineer.  I have purchased remote electronic devices that, when you press the button, are supposed to cause the paired key chain to loudly “chirp.” I lost the stupid remote. I purchased a zafu zabuton set and tried meditation.  It didn’t work for my keys, but my organic meditation cushion has proven to be beneficial nonetheless.  I even paid my daughter to follow me around and if she found my keys before I did, I would give her a dollar. I ended up with a rich little pick pocket, now I jump at shadows thinking it’s my daughter about to steal my keys for a dollar.

Every man I know has this problem. This got me thinking. How can I stop this pitiful cycle of unrelenting key loss? How can I make sure that my own son will never have to plaintively whine, “Honey, have you seen my keys?” Why are all of those public restroom keys attached to objects that are big enough to require their own zip-code? AHA! If I could attach my keys to something I deemed vital, important and large enough that I couldn’t lose it, my suffering would finally end. Sadly, my wife refused to volunteer.

I did manage to find this Key Chain Baton. I discovered the idea while watching martial arts movies.  Large enough that losing it will be more difficult but it also has the potential to serve a purpose. The Kubotan, developed by Grand Master Takayuki Kubota, is a self-defense device which doubles as a key chain. Originally developed to be used by police officers, the Kubotan technique has revolutionized the concept of unarmed self-defense for not only law enforcement officers, but also karate enthusiasts and everyday citizens. Easily found on the MatsMatsMats.com website along with many other martial arts supplies.  It also feature a DVD and book outlining simple self-defense techniques that utilize the mini baton. Now I shall never be without my keys again!  Now, where did I put my glasses?

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t notice you reading there. I am seriously sleep deprived. I think I’ve touched on this topic before but I have a son. His name is Bobby and he has a crepuscular eating disorder. This means that he enjoys eating copious amounts of food at dawn and twilight. Occasionally he’ll nibble throughout the day, but he gets up before his parents. A typical night will consist of me being out for the count rolled up with my body pillow sometime around 11:30pm midnight if I’m lucky. By 5:00am, he swats me across the face a couple of times knocking my sleeping mask off to wake me and then stares. Just stares… You see, Bobby is a cat. And what a cat. He’s an adorable little loverboy. There isn’t a single violent bone on the cats’ body and he’s soft as a pillow. However, he is not the cleanest eater.

After stumbling my way half awake to the fridge to get him some wet food pre-dawn, I usually kick the dish on accident, spill some water, and on my worst mornings, step right ON his food from the day before… This is unacceptable according to my girlfriend, so it has been decide for me to make the investment in a pet placemat, as if we don’t have enough pet products already. That way if I spill more of the cats food (again, ME not the cat because that would be too far fetched), we can rest easy knowing that it’s not on the carpet. The really very nice carpet that the cat grinds its claws on anyway. We may as well invest in some nice indoor kitchen mats and olefin carpet for him to destroy while we’re at it.

Cats are jerks but… gotta love em.

But not me… no sir. I’ve got a plan. That plan in copious amounts of indoor time. That’s right. What better way to enjoy the rites of Spring then staying indoors with your comfort products watching nature shows. It’s like all the fun of the outdoors without the dangers of a foreboding urban landscape and even worse: nature! I’ll be turning on my stories (read: PS3) and exercising (read: rotting) my under stimulated mind with epic interactive action stories! However, I have a cramped space and currently lack a ‘man cave’ of sorts. I always thought it was funny that a ‘mans cave’ has so many ‘kids products‘.  Anyway, my current living situation does not permit me to truly veg out in true Spring fashion. That’s where our kids bean bag chairs come in. Not only are they small enough to serve as comfy rockers for my bum, but because kids furniture is technically compact for my size, they actually force me to sit up straight much better! It’s the perfect solution to keep me indoors, safe, and judging by how ridiculous this all sounds, possibly abstinent! Nice sports rugs would be cool too!  Happy Spring everybody!

So now, when my wife suggests a pleasant afternoon in the garden, all I can think of is the amount of pain my creaky old knees will soon be complaining about. Part of the problem is trying to get comfortable kneeling for extended periods of time. If you’re not on a squishy, squelchy, wet patch of soggy grass, you’re kneeling on the cement that borders the expensive plants that are trying their darndest to die.

It seemed so easy, get something to kneel on that resists water and is soft enough to ease the pain of ancient joints. Some type of anti-fatigue mats or something.  What I found online was a veritable plethora of flower prints, cute bugs appliqués or tiny things that barely fit one knee, let alone two.  So I went to my “go to” sight for all things mat-like, MatsMatsMats, and sure enough, there they were. A kneeling pad, of course!!  Large (14”x21”) dense (1’ thick) and MANLY (solid black) no cutesy little ladybugs crawling across the surface, no delicate little plants, daintily decorating the pad so that all my other tools laugh and tease it. This mat looks like you could use it on the side of a busy highway to rest on as you change the tire of your Hummer.

You can get a discount if you buy them in an affordable six pack (and what guy would refuse to buy a six pack?) I also found them to be a great alternative to stadium rental cushions.  I now have to decide if it would be appropriate to bring to church.  Wooden pews, beware.