Wrestling Mats On Netflix?Posted on: January 29th, 2014 by Ben Gonzalez
Another year has come and gone. It has left us with many great human achievements as a species, and I hope, as individuals as well. I can only speak for myself but, Christmas and New Years bear a special significance for me as they are the holidays which literally make me sick. I’m not talking about ideals, my gripes with materialism or the exchange of human culture for that of consumption. No. I’m talking about literally getting sick. Like the flu. Three years in a row now, I’ve been sick dead-smack on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I had to resort to copious amounts of symptom suppressors, lotion infused tissues, and Netflix. Lots and lots of Netflix.
During the course of these, I subjected myself to martial arts hits like Sidekicks, American Ninja, and other B-grade karate-chop fests. But one can never get too far from their work I guess. During the competition scene in Sidekicks (starring RIP teen heart-throb Jonathan Brandis and Chuck F-ing Norris) I saw them… crosslink foam mats, competition style flooring all strewn over the entire gymnasium. Beautifully colored and textured as if almost taunting me to think about the office.
At this point, I realized that the medication and symptom suppressors were starting to really take their toll on my coherence. It was like a bad acid trip where as the dull plot of this flick turned into a slow psychological interrogation where I revealed Freudian archetypes to a non-existent shrink. These, however, were not your typical “mother issues” anymore (I have none) but instead mutated into vague whispers of “1-3/8″ crosslink foam, 18oz vinyl… yes… very durable… competition style wrestling mats too..”
Needless to say, I drank a lot more NyQuil than I should have. Vick’s might owe me a check. For the plug on our widely read blog and for the near death experience I had on their “medicine”.