Anti Fatigue Mats When Standing In The Same Place For Long Periods Of Time!Posted on: May 28th, 2013 by Ben Gonzalez
I was curious to go watch the new Iron Man movie last night at a midnight showing. I quickly realized I can’t hang with the late night showings anymore. Not at my age, anyway. How sad is that? Lately, between random bouts of insomnia, under-accomplishment blues, and marital woes, it can be extremely difficult to stand being surrounded by rowdy teenagers and all their witty anecdotes during the previews or the pre-show entertainment; a random flurry of local CPA’s, hair stylists, and tax lawyers all mixed in with useless celebrity trivia and Coca-Cola advertisements which, mind you, work like a charm. I got the largest syrupy coke they had to offer.
In my quest for searching for a blog topic, I was literally about to ask the girl at the concession stand what kind of anti fatigue mats they were standing on. Perhaps some Performa or other non-slip drainage mats? I stopped myself. I knew that If I opened my mouth not only would I ooze depression and desperation for some conversation, but this young female worker might assume that I’m hitting on her and I wanted to spare myself and her the embarrassment of having to clarify that I am not awkwardly trying to hit on her, but I actually really do have in interest as to the fatigue mats she is standing on.
After a nice long narrative involving good ol fashioned American exceptionalism (Mandarin in this movie, however, is not Mandarin at all), I found myself pondering in very deep ways the nature of the universe as I often do after a sci-fi action movie. When I got back to my car, instead of driving home, I drove up to a nice dark empty spot just outside the valley. Low light pollution but not quite rural yet. I went to the trunk and pulled out the embossed yoga mat that I had “borrowed” from work. You see, whenever a yoga mat order gets placed with an embossed logo on it, we get a free unit to make sure it is up to par with what the customer received. I got to keep this particular one since it was, unfortunately from an older plate manufacturer we no longer use and was not as nice as the rest of our regular lots. I hastily (I had precious little time to do so as I still had to be at work the next day) unfurled the yoga mat across the hood of my “new” car and watched the stars while sipping on the last of my watered down coca-cola. At that point, I felt small and insignificant enough to suddenly not care about any of my particular woes. The stars just guided me for the next hour and a half.